Caring for the Caregiver this Holiday Season

By Mary Jo Kreitzer, Ph.D., R.N., FAAN, and Robin R. Whitebird, Ph.D., M.S.W.

For many families, the holidays are a joyful and festive time. But for those caring for a family member with dementia, the holidays can be overwhelmed by stress.

In the United States, roughly 10 million caregivers provide daily comfort and care to their spouses, parents, or other family members living with dementia. Often these caregivers face tremendous pressures and challenges that may put their own health in jeopardy. Common symptoms among caregivers include depression, migraines, anxiety, sleep problems, heart irregularities, exhaustion, poor immune response, and increased illness.

We encourage you to make caring for the caregiver a top priority this holiday season. Here are some tips for helping the caregivers in your life:

Provide help and support. Start by providing practical help and emotional support to caregivers. Encourage them to assess their own health needs: when was the last time they had a health check-up? Caregivers are often so focused on the needs of their loved one that they ignore their own health; reinforcing the importance of their health is a vital step in reducing stress. 

Give the gift of time. Offer to provide assistance so they can go holiday shopping or meet a friend for lunch. Providing respite so they have time to prepare for and enjoy the holidays is a gift that can lift the spirit, making the season a more joyful time.

Facilitate communication. Start a conversation with them and then really listen. Active listening as someone shares their story is a gift that lets them know that they are valued and cared for; sharing their difficulties and concerns can ease feelings of burden.

Encourage asking for and accepting help. This can be particularly difficult for caregivers to do, but family and friends are often glad to help. Many caregivers are concerned they are seen as a burden and are often reluctant to ask for or accept help. Let them know they exist in a community of loving family and friends who want to help because they care.  

Finally, help caregivers seek out resources in the community; you may be surprised by what you find. There is respite care and caregiver coaching, plus a few unique opportunities like The Balance Study, an NIH-funded research study offered by the Center for Spirituality & Healing at the University of Minnesota and the HealthPartners Research Foundation. The study is actively running two interventions to help caregivers manage stress: caregiver education and support, and mindfulness-based stress reduction. To learn more about this study, contact the Balance Study at 952-967-5007.

So put caregivers at the top of your holiday giving list and warm the heart of someone you love. You may find it is the best gift of the season.

Mary Jo Kreitzer, Ph.D., R.N., FAAN, is founder and director of the Center for Spirituality and Healing at the University of Minnesota.

Robin R. Whitebird, Ph.D, M.S.W., is a research investigator at the HealthPartners Research Foundation and principle investigator of the Balance Study. This column is an educational service and advice presented should not take the place of an examination by a health-care professional. For more health-related information, go to http://www.ahc.umn.edu/healthtalk.